I thought I could spread a little knowledge as well as share my experiences; but one day I stopped writing. I tried to start again but every time I just stared at my computer screen and wondered what the point was. I had no clue if anyone even read these things- my thoughts, or if anyone cared. Yes, you can probably see where I'm going with this. I had myself a months-long pity party. I allowed the depression that I'm going through take hold and just dictate my every move. For months and months I have felt as if my head is in a foggy state. The days passed me by so quickly and I felt like I was always moving, doing something. But I wasn't connecting. My heart wasn't there.
Recently the physical ailments of my Lupus have grown too big to just ignore. The pain has been unbearable and the tears feel like they'll never stop. I'm not just sad anymore. I'm actually suffering at times. But when it lets up... I feel so grateful! I'm so thankful to be able to walk and talk and touch and laugh!! Oh, how I laugh. :D I can't spend my short time on this earth acting like I don't matter. I'm alive. I'm here right now and there's a reason for it. I matter, whether this blog is read by anyone or not: I MATTER. And I will NOT allow this Wolf to beat me down. Not anymore.
So if you're reading this, just know that I'm back. I'm here. I matter.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Do you have thoughts you'd like to share?